10 Tips For Better Living

victim thinking, victim, entitlement, qbq

“When you find a ‘perfect world,’ send me the address.”

~Police Commissioner, Frank Reagan, of “Blue Bloods” on CBS (actor Tom Sellick)

Wha … ??? No perfect world?! That’s a shocker!  ?

Well, then, I better start practicing these life-changing ideas right now …

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Never Forget: Learning Equals Change

enneagram, myers briggs, mbti, qbqThere’s a movement toward greater self-awareness by understanding one’s personality. In general, this is healthy and good — but is it making a difference?

My wife, Karen, and I have been reading The Road Back to You to learn about the Enneagram, a personality-type system that can lead to self-discovery and greater understanding. Doing so has generated a lot of conversation. From these chats, I have a thought to share that I’ll set up with a key passage from the QBQ! book.

Excerpted from Ch. 37 titled, “We Buy Too Many Books”

We attend too many seminars. We take too many classes. We buy too many books. We listen to too many podcasts. We engage in too much training.

Yes, it’s all a waste! A waste, that is, if we’re unclear on what learning really is. Learning is not attending, listening, or reading. Nor is it merely gaining knowledge. Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. In other words, it’s about changing.

Never forget: Learning equals change. If we haven’t changed we haven’t learned.

Now that thought …

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INTEGRITY Begins With … ???

On my daily walk, I paused to admire the “grass” in the photo. With another Colorado summer approaching, I know our lawn will crisp up like Sunday morning breakfast bacon.

What works for a Denver backyard, though, doesn’t work for people. Being perceived as fake is not admired much.

We’ve all heard “say what you mean and mean what you say.” Good advice. Years ago, I was struggling to ask a client a question when she wisely advised, “Just say it the way you’re thinking it, John.” Excellent counsel.

Being authentic isn’t easy. We don’t want to dump our problems, troubles, and innermost thoughts on others, right? Yet we do want to be genuine, relatable, and real.

It’s a conundrum.

Recently, we took a survey using this question: “What is the #1 characteristic of leadership?”—and INTEGRITY became a theme. In QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, we define INTEGRITY this way:

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Like To Debate? 10 “Fighting Fair” Rules

At work, home, or online, how do we effectively collaborate and communicate with people when we don’t see eye-to-eye?

By learning to “fight fair.” ?

Let’s discover how to argue, debate, discuss, and disagree at a higher level. Doing this will make us better people. ??

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Where Does Customer Service End and Consumer Entitlement Begin?

consumerism, entitlement, entitlement thinking, QBQ, customer service

Is the American consumer spoiled? Demanding? Greedy? Have we become a bunch of entitled brats? Or worse yet—a nation of … consumer victims?!

Let’s call our topic Consumer Entitlement and explore it through three stories. Then we’ll pose five questions to spur conversation.

We’d love to have you comment! ??

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Got Shoulder Chips? Rise Above Victim Thinking

I recently heard someone say, “She always seems to have a chip on her shoulder.” Upon hearing that old phrase, I decided to write this piece. Hope it’s not too blunt. ?

Defining The Chip: Victim Thinking

When a person has a chip on his or her shoulder, that person is essentially holding a grudge, carrying a grievance, and feeling sorry for self. That shoulder chip often leads to belligerence, blame, whining, complaining, anger, and argumentativeness. Not good stuff.

When we have a “chip on the shoulder,” we are simply wallowing in —

Victim Thinking.

Unlike our beautiful balloon rising above the Colorado landscape, well—we’re not rising above.


At the end of this piece, we’ll share 6 steps to rising above victim thinking. Read on!

But here’s the thing about victim thinking:

Humans <almost> never need encouragement to play the victim. We get there quite easily all by ourselves.

Stop Helping People Have Chips

Have you noticed many folks on Facebook, Twitter, and other Social Media platforms seem to go out of their way to encourage others (groups, races, genders, political parties, individuals) to play the victim? I don’t get it.

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What Are YOU Hiring?

Hiring. One of the most critical activities organizations and managers engage in—and it never ends.

Come on, be honest—have you ever felt vindicated? I do. ??

Allow me to share what we wrote in our Outstanding! book even though it was not very “politically correct” when we wrote it. I’m pretty sure some readers thought, Who does this author think he is to eschew securing college and university degrees? Heretic!

We wrote it anyway. ?

Before we get to the writing, though, see our image above? Straight from a recent LinkedIn news article, it seems some significant employers are coming around to our view. Feels good.

Has your organization come around? Read on to find out!

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Seeking and Giving Help — 9/11 or Today

It may not be the time of year we normally think about 9/11—not that we will ever forget—but here’s a story from that awful day I will always remember. Share if you’d like!

John G. Miller, author of these books

Asking a Lousy Question

Hours after the terrorist attacks, I was asking the whiny question, “Why do I have to do everything myself?” Looking back, I was mindlessly rearranging my garage, doing my best to not feel the pain.

I was also avoiding what sat on the back of my pickup truck: a new natural gas-powered furnace/heater for our above-ground pool—which I knew I could never lift off alone. My plan was to levitate it to the ground with sheer mind control.

Not feeling very good about anything, I was suddenly interrupted by a pleasant, “Afternoon, Sir. How ‘ya doing?”

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Made My List, Checked It Twice. Your Turn!

It’s the time of year when people focus on what they have. As we all know, some blessings are HUGE and some are … small.

When I challenged myself to consider what I’m thankful for, it occurred to me to use the number of years I’ve been on this Earth.

I am 60. 

So here’s my list of 60 people and/or things I’m blessed to have in my life. And, no, they are not in order of priority.

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